It’s not just a song. We all need a little help from our friends. If not now, tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the year after. Some people never realize it until it’s too late. They invest in stocks, bonds, or real estate thinking money is going to give them the security and happiness they seek. Sadly, they neglect the most important investment of their lives—time spent finding, making, and nurturing true friendships and true lasting love relationships.

Sometimes we are a nation of blockheads so blinded by sex, that we don’t see the true love for the birds and the bees. (Not that there’s anything wrong with the birds and the bees—we’re going
to talk about those captivating little critters. But with no myths, no false magic.) We’re going to get real about love and sex. Because all too often the lovebird sings sweet lies, and the bee stings too
hard. We’re also going to talk about friendship because, as we mature, same-sex and other-sex nonsexual friends take on an increasingly important role in our lives.

Friends, Lovers, and Knights

“I get by with a little help from my friends.” —John Lennon

Platonic Friendships

There’s No Such Thing! (Or Is There?)

Many people, especially men, say there’s no such thing as a platonic (as in no sex) friendship between a man and a woman— unless the two just plain don’t find each other sexually attractive.
The issue is further complicated by differing definitions of a platonic relationship. I asked one of my girlfriends to define a platonic relationship and her quick answer, devoid of emotion, was “It is a friendship with an esteemed and appreciated individual of the male gender with whom sexual intercourse is neither advantageous nor desired.”

I then asked a male friend to define it. His answer, filled with angst, was “A platonic relationship is a transparent and sadistic ruse by which attractive and otherwise eligible females smash a male
acquaintance who shows romantic interest to smithereens by announcing to said acquaintance, ‘I just want to be friends.’ ” He paused, put his head in his hands, and added sadly, “Thereby ripping
out the poor schnook’s heart and shredding it to pieces.” He admitted that he had once been emotionally clobbered by a woman with that cruel club called “I just want to be friends.”

Excuse me, if I I may interject my opinion here (after all, I am the author of this book), I definitely feel men and women can have a platonic relationship. I should know, I have a great one. In fact he’s more than a friend, he’s my roommate! (New York City apartment prices make strange non-bedfellows.) Phil’s candor about his various triumphs and tribulations with the weaker (ha!) sex will flesh out and corroborate many of the studies upon which this book is based.

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